oleander | appointments

[It's toward the end of the morning when he makes this message, his hands shaking as he grips the journal like a lifeline, his voice shaking as he swells with hope, one of the most terrifying feelings there is, because it's one usually followed by disappointment as sure as day is followed by night.]

Kaori? It's me, Mithos. [His voice is deeper than she'll remember, although there's still a roughness to it brought on by maturity that hasn't fully settled in.] Are...are you really back?

[Because if Sayo could have returned after being cut from his life so sharply, then couldn't Kaori have done the same? Her name is in the journal, the black of the words loud and buzzing against the white of the page. He hadn't thought he'd ever see her again, ever hear her voice, feel her hand, the warmth she had set in him like a candle in a cold dark room so vast the walls can't be found.

He had expected the world to tear everything away from him, although he never did get used to it.]

[At first she doesn't recognize the voice speaking to her, and why would she? It's been two years, it's been too long, so much has happened and she's still trying to keep up. But someone has said her name, and it's the way that person says it that has start her shaking as the memory slowly resurfaces.

It's different, but that shouldn't be bad, right? She had to stop thinking it's bad, because otherwise she couldn't stop wondering how much time has passed to make his voice different from what she remembered.]

... M-- [No, why does her voice have to shake, too? She didn't want it to.]

Please, say my name again.

[It's her...it's really her. His heart feels ready to burst, filling his chest, when he's so used to it wizening and collapsing in on itself like a fruit left to rot.

His words are stuck in his throat for a moment, as a memory of words twists his insides-- Did you... see her as more? --and pulls open an old labyrinth he never quite wanted to figure out. But finally, he manages.]

Kaori... [And even though he's shaking, even though some part of him is scared of his own feelings, of the possibility of losing her again and going through the same dark hell he'd already fallen into once, a smile cracks his lips. It's something he can't hold back.] Kaori, it's really you. It's really you...

[His breath trembles out in relief. He realizes his cheeks are damp, but he doesn't want to wipe anything about this moment away.]

Edited (picky grammar things) 2014-12-02 00:29 (UTC)

[He actually said it. Although it's still sounds different from what she remembered, she can hear him. In the way he says those words, so few but so precious, in how his voice trembled as he offered her every one of them without question.

So she smiles too, because this is Mithos, her Mithos whom she left behind, who wasn't here when she searched high and low for him despite her limits. It's small and watery, because she left him alone long enough that she couldn't recognize his voice right away. How awful was she, to do that to her best friend?

And yet...] Y-you're late, dummy.

[You're late, now where are you? I need you.]

[It's still sinking in - a bit like a stone thrown into a pond, filling the surface with wider and wider ripples as it resonates. A song inside him. She's here, she's really here, like he'd dreamed of for so many nights, only to wake up feeling small and empty and punching the mattress.]

I'm here now. [I'm not going anywhere. He wants to believe that, wants to make it true through the sheer power of wanting to stay.] I... I missed you so much.

[His voice breaks apart, and he sounds like a child again despite how his body has matured. Maybe he never stopped missing her, even after he left to return to nothingness. Maybe some part of him always knew that she was supposed to be there.]

[Though Mithos can't see it, her body goes rigid when she hears his voice break, taken over by cold and unrelenting guilt. What right did she have to talk to him, when she made him feel like that? And even if she did still deserve the privilege of speaking to him, why was she doing it through a stupid book?

He shouldn't be doing that, he shouldn't have had to be so sad and she can't take it anymore. So she snaps up her journal, barely keeping it open if only because she couldn't let him believe she had left him a second longer. Her movements are frantic as she makes her way out, because she has to find him right now. If she had to tear apart the village in the process, then so be it.

He needed her.]

Kaori...?

[For a second, his stomach plunges into the coldest depths (he'd felt it before, time after time) as he thinks she left, she doesn't want to talk to him, she didn't miss him like he missed her, even though she had sounded so happy to hear his voice again but he must have been wrong--

But then he can hear her footsteps jostling the journal, and he already understands that she's trying to find him. He rises, already reaching for his jacket, heading for the door.]

[Only a few moments into her run, Kaori realizes what a bad idea it had been to just run. She hadn't even asked where Mithos was, which direction to begin looking as she slows to a stop, her breathing frantic. A few days hadn't been enough to revive the map her mind had created of the village years ago, one that may as well be entirely new with all the people within it. The smells, the way the icy air moved, even the weather—none of it would help lead her to Mithos.

But she still had to try. If she could just place one foot in front of the other and listen very carefully, she could find him. Listening was what had first led her to him, what had kept them together because no one else could understand.

So she takes one tentative step, followed by another. However slowly, she had to find him. And if she listened long enough, maybe she would. Then she would know her mind wasn't playing tricks on her, that it had really been Mithos who said her name.]

[Would she remember the town? He hadn't told her where he was, and he doesn't know where she was - the building where she'd lived before Freyjadour gave her somewhere to stay? His memories of that place are limited to the time he'd come to see her when she was sick, what feels like a long time ago, when their friendship was still budding tentatively.

His feet carry him in that direction, his body at a slant as he pushes forward with the hope that each step shrinks the distance between them.]

[Even though her memory may be slow on the uptake, she continues to walk forward with those same uncertain steps. Each one is taking her that much further from the building she had lived in so long ago, one of the few constants she found even though the people she had befriended were long gone. At the same one, they were taking her closer to home. She had to believe that, or else she was simply lost.

The journal is still being held tightly against her chest, practically crushing the fingers she has wedged between the pages so that if she really had to, she could find him again. It may hurt, but it means she's not dreaming and one of those sounds had to be him, it had to.]

[He hardly pays attention to the faceless passers-by, forgetting all about cold glares and fears and suspicions tightening his chest, because his world right now has narrowed to Kaori. Kaori, who understands how hard it is, who had stayed by his side, who had called him irreplaceable, and he clutches that word as if he's afraid it's something he might lose.

Finally, after what feels like far too long, he sees her. Her long brown hair, the shape of her face, the way she carries herself - he remembers all of it, the memories pouring over him in a torrent that pushes him forward.]

Kaori! [His heart feels ready to burst, not from running but from her, everything about her, her nearness, her solidity.]

appointments

November 27th - voice

November 27th - voice

November 27th - voice

November 27th - voice

November 27th - voice

November 27th - voice –> action

November 27th - voice –> action

November 27th - action

November 27th - action

November 27th - action

November 27th - action